A celebrity test that measures 24 ‘character strengths’ could change the way you perspective your relationship


couple smiling at any other
Shift
the concentration from what’s wrong to what’s right.


shurkin_son/Shutterstock


  • The VIA consult measures you on 24 character
    strengths.
  • In their stirring book “Happy Together,” a
    husband-and-wife group advise having both partners in a
    couple take the survey.
  • Once you do, you can plead what any person brings to
    the attribute and work on using those traits more
    often.

The VIA survey
isn’t privately geared toward couples looking to urge their
relationship. It’s a 120-question comment that measures you on
24 “character strengths,” including creativity, honesty, and
leadership.

Yet in their stirring book, “Happy
Together,” Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and James Pawelski, PhD
advise that training some-more about your impression strengths — and
your partner’s — can change the way you perspective your
relationship, for the better.

In “Happy Together,” the authors (who are married to any other)
request the science
of certain psychology to romantic relationships. Pileggi
Pawelski has a master’s grade from the certain psychology
program at the University of Pennsylvania; Pawelski is a
philosopher who teaches at the program.

Positive psychology focuses on training what helps people
flourish, and the VIA consult — or the VIA Classification of
Character Strengths and Virtues — is formed on the investigate of
pioneering certain psychologists Christopher Peterson and Martin
Seligman.

The consult assesses 24 impression strengths, which are categorized
into 6 virtues:

1. Wisdom

  • Creativity
  • Curiosity
  • Judgment
  • Love of learning
  • Perspective

2. Courage

  • Bravery
  • Honesty
  • Perseverance
  • Zest

3. Humanity

  • Kindness
  • Love
  • Social intelligence

4. Justice

  • Fairness
  • Leadership
  • Teamwork

5. Temperance

  • Forgiveness
  • Humility
  • Prudence
  • Self regulation

6. Transcendence

  • Appreciation of beauty
  • Gratitude
  • Hope
  • Humor
  • Spirituality

The strengths you measure top on are what positive
psychologists call your “signature strengths” — the character
strengths “that are many essential to who [you] are,” according
to the VIA website.

The consult takes about 15 mins to complete: You prove how
closely any matter describes you.

Once you finish the survey, you select which report you’d like. I
comparison the free consult results, which shows how you arrange on all
24 strengths. (A picture is next — apparently my top character
strength is fairness.) For $20 or $40, you can squeeze more
in-depth information about your strengths.


via results colorScreenshot/VIA Institute on
Character

You can use these results to help strengthen your relationship

In “Happy Together,” Pileggi Pawelski and Pawelski outline a
series of ways to draw on your consult results to urge your
relationship. One is an practice in which you tell “strengths
stories” about your partner.

Each partner tells a story about when they celebrated the other
using one of their signature strengths successfully. The authors
write: “It can be impossibly absolute to hear your partner tell
you a story of you at your best. It can help you feel clearly
seen, deeply understood, and profoundly loved.”

Another practice is to devise and knowledge a “strengths date.”
The idea is to create one eventuality in which both partners get to use
one of their signature strengths.

Pileggi and Pawelski, for example, ate at a grill that
facilities food from Peruvian and Cantonese cuisines. Pileggi
Pawelski printed out information about the restaurant’s culinary
influences and brought it to cooking to plead with her husband.
That’s since Pawelski loves to learn, while Pileggi Pawelski
loves trying new things.

The critical thing to remember about the VIA consult is that it’s
formed on self-report. No one’s watching you objectively and
determining you’re a loving, extraordinary person — that’s determined
only by your responses to the questions. When we took the
survey, we found we answered “like me” to many of the questions,
presumably since we aspired to those traits and
behaviors.

That said, the advantage of having two people in a relationship
take the consult is twofold.

One, instead of seeing your partner’s bent to, say, stop and
snap a photo every 5 mins while you’re walking together,
you competence comprehend that “appreciation of beauty and excellence” is
one of his top strengths. Two, it shifts the review away
from any person’s deficits and toward what any person can
potentially bring to the partnership.

It’s frequency the only way to reanimate your relationship, but
it’s a good event to see your partner with new eyes.

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